Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
