k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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