It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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