Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
