I'm so fucking centered right now
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
