And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
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you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
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What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have poison ivy on my dick
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way