We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today