Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize