I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY