I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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