I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
