i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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