ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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