Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
