This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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