How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
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I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
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I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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