just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
