I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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