i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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