I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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