so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
