we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
