May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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