yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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