I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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