Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
sarcasm needs its own font
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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