she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
