Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
