I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
