Dual....:-)
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
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Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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