My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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