Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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