I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize