I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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