dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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