do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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