is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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