he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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