I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
worst night to have a conscience
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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