a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
