Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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