I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
