I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
