she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
not ubering you a puppy
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
