I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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