come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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