like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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