its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Ketchup is God's man juice
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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