I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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