Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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