I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Acid is not a monday night drug
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Semen is not good for contacts.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
