I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
