When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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