What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
