just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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