What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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