He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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