So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
