i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
