Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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