ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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