Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
