By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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