i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
