Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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