There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
