i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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