I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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