Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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