ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
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I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
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Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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