My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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