I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
