New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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